Tag Archives: courting

The Elevator

Separately, out of the office, we made our way.

It was sad and lonely, how I thought it ended, this day.

Walked slowly to wait for you; it was a relief seeing people pile up.

Caught each other on the lobby waiting for the elevator to pick us up.

 

The far-side elevator arrow lit up telling us it will be next.

I stopped on the middle aisle, wanting to be concave to the door you’ll get out of, not convex.

You made it in the crowd, stood there silently and waited patiently.

Patiently waiting for the elevator to rise up and let itself be ridden, kindly.

 

The far-side elevator finally decided to open its doors.

I didn’t want to get in; just stood there, glued myself to the floor.

I wanted an excuse not to get in so I just let it fill up with people.

Just like how said I wanted to change fate, very simple, but it was a good example.

 

Your side elevator arrow lit itself up telling us that it’ll be the next one.

The thought of being next to you when we get in, sounded like a lot of fun.

I just so missed you the entire day, I needed something to look forward to.

Even if it’ll just be a quick elevator time; even just for a minute or two.

 

The elevator finally got to our floor and gave off its sound.

A sudden rush of people, on my way to you, that was where they were found.

I wasn’t able to get in! It made me sad; wanted to grab you out of there.

I want you in my arms; want you with me; just want us to be together.

 

I waited for the next one, wishing I’d be able to catch a glimpse of you somehow.

It was taking too long, another way down, I was thinking about, right now.

It finally came to me, got myself in and made my way down.

It was taking its time, though. The wait was making me frown.

 

I finally got off, rushed out of the building, hoping to see your pretty face.

I didn’t have time for anything else. It was as if I was in a race.

I was looking left and right trying to catch a glimpse of you.

Not getting what I was hoping for made me feel so blue.

 

I had one last chance to catch you, to the jeepney stop where you take your ride, I went to.

When I see you, in that ride, I might even get myself into.

A ride just passed by me, I looked inside but found no sign of you.

Thinking about looking at the next one but that ride that passed me, I stuck to.

 

As it was about to pass by, I maxed out my eyesight to, just in case, be able to see you.

Then it did, I took a look and, as God wanted it, there was you!

You gave me a “hi” or “goodbye” but what you said really didn’t matter that time.

All I remember is that when I saw you, I knew that everything’s going to be just fine.

 

I’ve been missing you all day and I’m still missing you so bad.

I know the day will come that I’ll be with you and I’ll be more than glad.

I’m so longing for that day to come; the day where I finally get to be with you.

But for now I’ll be waiting, just like waiting to ride in the elevator with you.

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Mysterious Her

People say that she looks very smart; that one of her great qualities is intelligence.

What you don’t know is that you don’t have all the information or how far the paragraph indents.

You find out that you lack a lot of important knowledge, facts that need knowing and attention.

You’ll figure this out when, for her, you have the sincerest desires and an unselfish intentions.

 

You don’t know all the words that she doesn’t like to hear.

They hurt her feelings; sends irritating sounds to her ear.

Make a list of these words in your head, which is what you need to do.

That’ll give you an advantage; if, her, you’re so determined to pursue.

 

How long her pissed timeouts last are unknown.

You’ll see these when, being very careless, with her, you’ve shown.

Let her see you, show her that you’re just there for her.

Look out for “a bit okay” signs, like that cute tongue, when she starts to lay bare.

 

You don’t know what food she would want to eat for breakfast.

When she does tell you, you better be thinking fast.

She’ll be pissed if she doesn’t get what she’s craving for.

Be sure you have alternatives; something simple, like pancakes in two; much better in four.

 

You’re ignorant about what her true story is.

She won’t tell you everything at once; you have to earn every word as it is.

All the time, make sure you listen to her very well.

She might just ask for you next time, whenever she’s got a story to tell.

 

You’re clueless about deeds she doesn’t want you to do.

You may feel that she’ll come after you, you’re wrong; she’ll be like she doesn’t care about you.

Be careful of what you’re asking for; she might give that, exactly, to you.

Your world will seem like it’s ending, you won’t know where you are or what to do.

 

You have absolutely no idea about how her moods swing.

When they go negative, you can’t just expect her to sing.

Call her to find out what’s going on.

She might lighten up; tell you something you’ll never forget, later on.

 

You may know a ton of things about almost everything.

But information like these come only once and doesn’t apply to all beings.

Treasure these; always keep them in mind.

You’ll be surprised, one day she’ll just tell you that “she feels like a child..”

Mental Illness

For Helen Grace:

 

I just can’t stop thinking about you.

Whatever I do, my head, you always manage to slip into.

It’s becoming the kind of sickness I was so longing to have.

It is the disease a lot of people call Love.

 

I always catch myself smiling with a simple thought of you.

Remembering the way you walk, talk, just the things you do.

It’s so great, the way you always make me feel.

What more when the dream I’m building of you suddenly becomes all real?

 

Every thought of you gives me comfort and happiness.

Of course, there’s a lot more and without anything less.

Longing to receive everything that you have just for me,

No complaints at all, that’s what you can expect from me.

 

This disease is taking over my entirety.

The absence of a cure for this, I’m praying for, silently.

Being addicted to you keeps me sane, takes me up above.

Give me more of the drug I need, the drug which is your Love.

Priority #1: Happiness (Hers)

It was one of those days wherein they say: “The shit hits the fan.”

We were enjoying our breakfast; I was watching her eating with her own hands.

We were making great time just like we used to from our yesterday.

But it all ended when I decided on things that I wanted to say.

 

It was during dessert; that was when I started teasing her.

She was leaving tonight; I thought it was time for me to clear the blur.

It turned out that I was rushing; I didn’t have a clue to what I was getting into.

It suddenly got too serious; it wasn’t where I wanted to get into.

 

I teased her about her sweetness, that’s what started it all out.

She became sad when she explained to me, it wasn’t something I was yearning for, the fact that I wanted out.

It was getting sadder, from the exchange; I wanted to take her out.

If I had just known that I was only digging deeper, I could have bailed myself out.

 

There was this question that day that had her give that answer; I can’t even remember what it was.

She reminded me of her battles, what she wants to do after winning; when she does.

I acknowledged it again; showed her that I remember and that nothing’s stopping her.

“Not even me” that was the assurance I willingly gave to her.

 

She told me very nice things about us and I felt that it was getting to more than okay.

There were also some problems but I never figured it going the other way.

After every hurt I might come across comes this statement: “‘Di kasi kita matiis.”

A wall greater than China’s, between us, suddenly started to exist.

 

I asked her if she remembers what I said about giving me a good reason to let go.

She nodded although I wished she didn’t. It was reaping exactly what I did sow.

It wasn’t what I wanted but I know it was what she said she needed.

Time to find herself, just to be free and of everything, to just let go.

 

I thought I saw her eyes fill up with tears.

I’m not sure about that but I was shaking when I realized my own fears.

I’ve fallen for her; it was part of my own plans.

What I didn’t know that to love her was to let go of her hands.

 

With a final sip of water and a breath of cold air,

I wanted to ask her something but decided to give her another stare.

I then did ask her: “So I think it’s time for me to go?”

She looked at me with those sad eyes I saw and told me yes, it was time to let go.

 

My mind was filled up with reasons, reasons that I had for my own.

Selfish questions, really selfish if decided, on the table, them, to put on.

I just sat there shaking as I was fighting off my demons.

It was hell and grace in front of me; I had to make the right decision.

 

Then love whispered to my ear and things suddenly became so clear.

This person, in front of me, who to me is so dear,

Just wants to be happy with herself

At least once, through the lifespan of her years.

 

I now understand the pain of what she was doing.

The happiness of others, it was her life’s work, what was keeping her from moving.

But this time she wants to make her own self her top priority.

And it’s time for me to give way, in exchange for my sins, and make myself my least priority.

 

I took another breath, finally stood up and said that it’s time for us to go.

I wanted to hold her hand but kept my distance because it’s not what I was supposed to show.

I joined her while waiting for, then watched her get into her ride.

I watched her go, wanting to come with her but managed to keep myself on the side.

 

I thought, dreamt and am still thinking about her.

Writing this letter, remembering the great times we had together.

Missing her is not as easy as making something like this because of loneliness

What more to wish that she finds her own self with safety, fun, luck and brings her happiness?

The Longing

Every time spent with you seem too short.

Things I want to say and do needs to be right; they always make me sort.

Not a moment spent with you seem just enough.

Constantly miss seeing your face, your smile, hearing you talk and laugh.

 

The longing to be with you, that’s always what you make me feel.

Being able to hold you, kiss, hear and see you lets me know the moment’s real.

You’re the only person who I want to be with every day and every night.

All the moments we spent together, every single one, feels so, so right.

 

When we’re together, time just seem to quickly pass by.

Be it 5-hour breakfasts, overtime massages or, when on your station, I walk by.

I just can’t get enough of you, certainly not enough of us.

Time just flies when we’re together; it’s as if it were in a rush.

 

I know time will come where we’ll get to have more than enough of each other.

The anticipation of that moment gives me hope, keeps sanity and I together.

Especially when you told me, even if it’s just partially, that you do love me too.

It’s more than enough gas for me to keep waiting, wait for no one else but you.

Hell and Grace

This was something I wrote for my wife, Helen Grace, when I was still courting her. I associated the title and contents with her name and with the situation she was and this was what I came up with:

 

Both are somewheres we all know about.

Different actions get us to which route.

All of us trying to do things our own ways.

Hell and grace, we’re headed to where and what place.

 

Hell gives us this heat of discomfort.

Something we never think of longing for, not wanting it to be our fort.

In these modern times, getting there feels better than getting to the latter.

It confuses us that we never think of what happens after.

 

Grace paves for us, the simpler  way of doing things.

Like sticking to our wives and not to get into childish flings.

The path to it isn’t always what we opt to and consider.

We often think it makes our lives complicated leading us to somewhere down the ladder.

 

Hell and grace are somewheres we all know about.

Our actions are meant to be thought of and will certainly give us a bout.

Tag faith or reason along to get the match at a good pace.

 

Hell and grace, this early, in ourselves, we know not the time but where it will continue.. I mean to what place.

 

Comments are very much welcome 🙂